Yesterday I went out of the house to set off in a quest: a quest to order some must-have documents from the UST College of Nursing that’ll help me land that oh-so-elusive job this year. And also, to get The Thomasian 2008, the official yearbook of our batch, which had been released a couple of days ago.

I haven’t been on the grounds of UST in months and I’ve got to tell you, it feels sort of odd to go on walking and walking without seeing one familiar face in the crowd. It used to be my home-away-from-home home but now it just feels…different, in that sad sort of way. I suddenly missed being a student. I want that humdrum life of getting up, going to class or going to duty and then going home to sleep off the tiredness. I sure wouldn’t mind having that kind of surety again; in school everybody else takes care of all the important stuff for you.

Now it’s literally every man for himself and boy, is it tiring.

As was my nature, I arrived half an hour earlier than the appointed meeting time (with Rae, who agreed to meet up with me so we can get the yearbook together). I ducked in the St. Martin de Porres building, flashing my alumni card as I went. I got pushed and shoved by a ton of undergrads rushing off to their first class of the day on my way to the Admin. Office, where I was ignored for five whole minutes as the Dean, the Assistant Dean, the Guidance Counselor and the Regent were busy chitchatting with the staff.

Finally I was given the form and was filling it out with the basics, when something weird suddenly happened: the priest said out loud, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit…” Yes, ladies and gents, he was starting a prayer. Not just your ordinary short prayer of thanks, oh no; he was ticking off the Hail Mary’s of the Holy Rosary.

Thoughts of me fleeing the office entered my mind but different people blocked all exits. So I just…joined in. I mean, what else can I do, right?

Although I cannot stress enough how weird that experience was for me. First of all, it’s been months since I’ve last prayed the Rosary and for me to be performing it with a bunch of people who couldn’t be more different from me (in age, in stature, in financial income) just amazes me.

I’ve contemplated on this event during my bus ride home and I’ve come to realize that surely, there’s a lesson in there somewhere for me. Life isn’t that random.

And then it hit me: I’ve been blabbing on and on about how I’ve lost connection with God but haven’t really done anything to reconnect with him. Maybe this jolt of a prayer’s meant to remind me that it’s high time for me to incorporate more prayers into my life.

Hey, it couldn’t hurt, right?

A couple of years ago, my father whisked my mother and I to this Family Encounter weekend. It’s sort of a retreat for the family and it really was unfortunate that my brother couldn’t make it. That weekend was a real eye-opener for me; I really learned a lot about my parents, my mother especially. But more about that on later posts.

This post is about a love letter we were asked to write to our families, recalling a dark moment in our lives. Imagine my surprise when we were then asked to read said letters aloud in front of the whole batch. I think I did a good enough job; I remember people coming up to me and telling me how “mature” I was after I read it.

Date: May 20, 2006

Dear Family,

I know that there have been dark moments in our life; only I can’t seem to remember them now. It probably was just that they happened when I was either too young to remember them now or they happened when I wasn’t even born yet.

I knew the crisis that we (?) had to undergo when mama’s father was sick. That story’s probably one of the “best-sellers” at the dinner table, and even though I wasn’t really there to experience it, I think Kuya and I got the message that, clearly, we should work hard not to lost what we have now.

I know that like Mr. Joh Alejandring, Papa almost went to Saudi once, in search of greener pastures. It really was a good thing that Mama disapproved of that plan; if she didn’t I can’t even imagine what kind of family we would have now. Tama si Jeff (or was it Jon?) ‘Di bale nang mahirap, basta sama-sama’.

Like Papa said earlier, ‘may dadating din na problema sa atin’. We can’t always be on top. But when that time comes, I’m pretty sure that we’ll get out of it okay, as long as we stay true to God.

Yeah, it was a bit cheesy. But do take note that the Family Encounter thing was a religious experience and this particular letter was written in the thick of it all.

So this one goes out to all the families out there who’re having difficulties plodding on. Keep faith.

So, in light of the new year, I present to you, my resolutions:

1.     Lose Weight.

I know I’ve said this time and time again, but now I must really do it.  I believe that the mind can do whatever you will it to do (that’s how I passed the June board exams, I think). 

2.     Say Yes.

It was said in Benjamin Button movie that a person is defined not only by the opportunities he takes, but also by those that he misses.  So whatever it is, I’ll take it.  This year shall be a year of experience for me, whether it is old or new and I’ll take it; unless of course I have a prior engagement or an existing medical condition to hinder me from doing it. 

3.     Try to understand.

There are people on this earth that infuriate me to no end and while it is far more convenient and far more tempting to just go on hating them, it would be nicer and more beneficial for me to actually understand where they’re coming from.  Everybody has reasons for being how they are, after all.

4.     Hear mass every week.

I’ve lost touch with my religious side so I’ll try my best to do this every week.  It shouldn’t even be a feat; after all, I heard mass every single day at six in the morning during the busiest year of my college life.

5.     Reconnect with the relatives.

I’ve been jolted by the fact that I don’t even know half the names of my cousins.  It is high time that I got to know them, I think.  I had such a blast with that month-long vacation in Bagbaguin last year that it’s inspired me to reconnect with the people I share DNA with.

6.     Buy one piece of clothing once a month.

By buying for myself an item of clothing per month, I’d get to save a ton of money on the shopping splurges during the holiday seasons, I think.  Also, this is part of my plan to treat myself better although it’ll be quite tough, during the first few months of me not having a stead income, which brings me to:

7.     Get a job!

I need to get one ASAP!  I’ve already sent my documents to Makati Medical Center and I’m currently eaten up by anxiety.  I wish I could get a job soon; afterwards I can take the NCLEX and the IELTS and can finally breathe easy and live life in relative monotony.

8.     Write more.

I’m pretty sure I can keep the longhand journal alive this year, as I’ve taken to writing on it again.  Besides, I’ve done it for almost a decade now, I’m not about to quit.  But I plan to blog more, although I know I can’t do it everyday like Nicole; it’s just too tough.  At this rate I’ll be happy to at least update twice or thrice a week.

9.     Read more.

I plan to finish reading a book per month.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a first reading or a re-reading of the material but I can finish a book a month. 

10.  I’ll keep this one blank because I can’t think of anything else right now and my obsessive-compulsive (OC) tendencies won’t let me finish off a list without a solid even number. 

I hope I can do this.